Love That Could Kill.
July 15, 2011 § Leave a Comment
When Audrey came out and Trever placed her on my tummy, I had an overwhelming feeling of love for my child. And protection. I actually had the thought,
“If anyone tries to do anything to my baby to harm her, I will kill them!”
Woo. Kind of freaky, Mother Bear. Yes, I know. But many mother’s out there can hear me on this one: you’d do anything to protect your young and I believe it’s a natural instinct. In that moment, I felt very primal. And that feeling hasn’t gone away.
Since Audrey has arrived, I have constantly felt an automatic need to take care of her whatever the cost. Not doing so just isn’t an option. I think about feeding her, clothing her, and sheltering her way before I get to myself.
In the beginning, I had such a hard time balancing her needs with the simple one’s of my own that I would often not shower or brush my teeth for days. Learning how to be a new mother and wanting so badly to stay completely attached to your little being can be all time consuming.
As Audrey grew, I figured out how to take a five minute shower when Papa got home or make myself eat even though I didn’t feel like it or brush my teeth before I laid her down to bed for the night and stayed with her so she doesn’t wake up and feel abandoned.
Now I can shower with her or involve her in the food-making process and even snuggle her to sleep and watch a movie or read a book in the other room. The first year being completely attached was just hard and oh so worth it. I believe she’s even more independent because of it.
I’m looking forward to having all her teeth come in (just the canine’s to go) and getting her used to using the potty. She’s already in love with her undies and going quite frequently on the pot. That will take more stress off as the coming new year arrives and we welcome the new addition into our family.
We’re so very excited to welcome another member. I can feel the motherly instinct coming on again. Welling up inside of me to protect my young kin. Watch out though, you don’t want Mother Bear on your bad side.
• I’m twelve weeks and counting.
• This was planned and very welcomed.
• We don’t know what the sex is nor do we plan on finding out.
• We’re having the baby at home again. We have two wonderful midwives that we trust.
• We are due January 28, 2012. Although the baby could come anytime between 38 and 42 weeks, give or take.
• We’ve explained it to Audrey and we think she’ll make an excellent big sister.
• We’re planning to have a baby arrival celebration as the due date nears.
• We’re all set with clothes thanks to our good friends (whether it’s a girl or a boy).
• We have no sex preference. Either would be wonderful.
• We are happy with our family of four. Two is enough for us.
• Oh and yes! The hard month of June, complaints of being “sick”, etc. have been all baby-making related. I have both 24/7 morning sickness and gastritis. So it’s been tough, but look! I’m still blogging!
On that note, we definitely still need help entertaining Audrey on most days. As my body is building a baby and causing me lots of issues. And we will for sure need your support when the little one arrives.
And yes, I will kill for this one too. Wink wink.