The Oxytocin Spill.
February 8, 2012 § 4 Comments
It’s been a whirlwind of a week over here in the O’Brien household. We’ve had tons of friends and family come to our aid with help, food, and care. I’ve been doing my duty to rest as much as possible, as this time, I’m determined to not take six months just to start feeling normal again–I was moving to Long Beach when Audrey was three weeks old and walking our year-old puppy everyday thereafter. Not a brilliant recovery plan.
So this time, I’m determined to sit on the couch doing nothing and actually sleep when the baby sleeps like they tell you to. I’m just hoping Trev and I figure out how to get our oldest–that’s funny to write–out of the house while he’s at work. Audrey has gone out with Grandma, Aunt Liz, and other friends and has had a blast. It’s funny how much I miss her. When she’s not here, all I can think is:
I wonder what Audrey’s doing? I hope she’s having fun.
And I want to be having fun with her. She’s gone to the park numerous times, to Disneyland, to the Magical Playground (an indoor play place), to the grocery store, and lots of other places with her Papa. Wherever she goes though, I want to be there with her. I’m sure other parents who’ve experienced having more than one have gone through the same range of feelings I’m having now.
I’m jealous of those who take her out and enjoy her company. I long to sit and snuggle with her, holding her nice and close. I can’t wait to do even the simplest of chores with her out of the house, just to see her face light up as she learns more about life. And I look forward to the time when we’ll be able to be together having fun.
I love my first baby.
When Edric came, my heart expanded and found plenty more space for him. It wasn’t even a question or worry on my mind. Room for my buddy just appeared. Partly the oxytocin, partly because bringing people into the world is the most sacred and glorious thing known to man. Hands down. Now that he’s here, I can’t imagine life without him similarly to how I can’t imagine life without my Audrey.
Holding Edric everyday is a pure joy. I could stare at him every second and I spend much of my time doing so. Yet I still miss Audrey. It’s the oxytocin spill. It’s pouring out everywhere. I’ve tried to hold it in and keep it contained, but I can’t help it. I love my babies. And I’ll never stop.