December 5, 2011 § Leave a Comment
Some people constantly need chaos. They need drama in their lives or the feeling of drama to make it more eventful and exciting. They either create drama or live in a state of chaos in their heads because it’s more comfortable than the lull of real life. They have a chemical addiction to chaotic behavior and cannot go without it.
Often a chaos addict is:
• Consistently busy or says or looks busy
• Sick because it’s extremely hard on the system
• Tolerated by others or in codependent relationships
• Scared of being bored or simple living
• Stirring up something to keep things interesting
I apologize if I’ve convicted you. And I’m glad if I’ve helped you pinpoint a family or friends issue (no, there’s nothing you can do but love them). I know this condition so well because I’ve been there. Chaos was my crack many years ago and it took a long while to get off of it.
It felt good and comforting to have something going on. Something to figure out or fret about. A situation that made life interesting like a movie that you shared with those around you. But let me tell you, it never ends. It’s an addiction like any other addiction and it has to be weaned off of to truly enjoy life.
I do know some people who are chaos addicts that are successful. They still do it. Yet I can guarantee 99.9%, they’re not happy. They pretend to be happy. Their pseudo personality is all smiles and joy, but they’re not. Inside they’re angry and depressed (anger turned inwards).
Around the holidays, these fellow humans will often tell you they’re so busy they can’t fit anything more into their schedule. They don’t know how to truly time-manage and they fill their days with busyness for the sake of feeling busy, chaotic, important, and “safe” in their own heads.
The holidays don’t have to be chaotic. They don’t have to be rushed through, productive, or managed. Heck, they don’t even if have to look a certain way. They can just be. I know it’s hard to let go of the control and let life come to you rather than you going to holiday parties, buying superfluous gifts, and go-go-going, but breath.
Let December soak you up and be a time of giving up your addictions rather than just giving gifts. It’ll be a gift unto yourself and the best one you could possibly receive. You don’t have to be a “zen pussy”* like me. You don’t have to pendulum swing to the other extreme of chaos. You can just be you. If drama happens–it inevitably does, the holidays do that to most people…we have issues–you can take it in strides. You can do this.
Enjoy your holidays more this year than any other:
• Do a little prep for gifting, company, trips, etc. everyday
• Do leave empty space in your schedule to relax
• Do take 3 deep breaths and ask yourself, “Will this be enjoyable or intentionally rushed?”
• Do work through your holiday issues as they come up
• Do love yourself and, therefore, those around you
Chaos. It happens to the best of us. But we don’t have to be addicted to it. It may take some working through, yet we can work through our stuff and our brains chemical addiction to the need of drama. And while there will be a time of transition from busyness to being more chill that is difficult, the end result will be peace. More peace is always a good thing.
Peace on earth this season to you and yours and for many months to come.
Photo: 8 months preggers and counting.
*Zen pussy is a silly term I coined to describe someone who prefers to only achieve 5 tasks a day and leads a simple life.