Electronic Boundaries.
October 3, 2011 § 4 Comments
I believe all things in life require us to have boundaries. Some boundaries are easier for us to follow for ourselves than others. Even more so, it can be more attractive to create one’s that benefit our inner personal lives or our relationships to our advantage. But what about when it comes to inanimate objects, like our computers, smart phones, cars, and the like?
Since boundaries are usually a lifeskill that our parents teach us, it’s funny to imagine my mother giving me lessons on having self-control over surfing the Internet. Although I do remember getting in trouble for using chat rooms in secret at age eleven. Yet the rule was: don’t do it. Not “this is how you create an electronic boundary.”
So here I was, 27, and feeling all alone with these desires to constantly be looking things up, gaining more knowledge, reading other people’s blogs, checking my social networks and email, playing Words with Friends, seeing if anyone had commented on my status, replying to comments posted on my blog, listening to voicemails, adding things to my to-do’s, editing and uploading photos, putting things on my calendar, searching for new apps to create more distractions. Sadly I could go on. All day, in fact.
My smart phone–my beloved iPhone–had become an addiction. I used it as my BFF rather than actually connecting with those around me. Please note: most of my blogs are my personal convictions and confessions of realizing really how retarded I was being and my discovery and growth out of that. Not how I think you should do things, or live. Rather revelation I feel compelled to share with you.
Now that we’re clear on that, let’s understand where this addiction led me. After being on bedrest for the first ten weeks of my pregnancy, I became very used to being on my iPhone. I didn’t realize I wasn’t giving Audrey all the attention she deserved, as I have mentioned before. This realization led to a pendulum swing of needing to rid myself of said device in order to one, lower our cellphone bill and two, solve my problem.
I spent about two weeks processing my use of my electronic device; writing down numerous ideas, going to the AT&T store to check options, discussing it with Trev and other friends, writing out more thoughts, and taking fasts from even looking at my phone. I deduced what I used my phone for–meal planning, blogging, photo/video purposes, and communicating–and concluded days later that in and of themselves those were not bad things.
After speaking to the hubby about bill-lowering ideas (the man had ideas he was hiding) and lowering them the following day by $200 per his suggestion, we finally achieved our goal of having “almost” less expenses than income coming in. Shocking, I know. And thrilling at that.
This released a lot of pressure from my weary soul of my love/hate relationship with my iPhone. I allowed myself to see the good things about it and search myself for what I could do differently if it was going to stick around. This is sounding more and more like a relationship. And then it hit me! I needed boundaries with this silly device. So what did I do?
• Day 1: I only used it when I needed to (not even picking it up when it rang)
• Day 2: I checked my social networks when Audrey was napping
• Day 3: I discovered that I would only save $30/month by not having an iPhone on the cheapest AT&T Go Phone plan
• Day 4: I focused on Trever and Audrey and used my phone for the Whole Foods recipe app
• Day 5: I created a “schedule” of when I could use my iPhone: morning prior to when Audrey wakes, during afternoon nap, after my loves go to bed, and in necessary communication times and emergencies.
What does this mean? In a week I designed a system of boundaries to allow myself to view my gadget as healthy rather than abuse it and be codependent with it for my own selfish purposes. I think this can be done with anything or anyone. It isn’t healthy, but we do it. Perhaps my story has helped you a bit. I’m starting to be more and more grateful for what I have, what I can afford, what we choose to spend our money on, and accept that even good things can be used inappropriately, but that doesn’t mean you have to cut it off. You can also create a thought shift and, in my case, some electronic boundaries.
Update: I wrote this blog prior to discovering on Saturday with Trev that we could shift some of our AT&T wireless stuff around and save $45/month. Thank you sales rep Reyes who’s looking out for the little guy.
Photo: This lil thing is worth creating electronic boundaries for.
Long Life Diet.
August 31, 2011 § Leave a Comment
I’ve been really into food lately. As Trever pointed out tonight while I was making dinner, I’ve been making “gourmet” meals. What he means by gourmet is that I’ve been creating dishes from scratch rather than a box. I’ve always enjoyed cooking, but it’s really started taking on a new level of deep satisfaction: it’s whole, raw, tasty meals that fill us up and help us to feel even better inside and out than we did before we ate.
This process has been going on since last August when we moved to Glendale. I started walking to the Farmer’s Market every Thursday and began shopping at Whole Foods after deciding that the local Ralph’s and Vons weren’t that awesome for choices with a diet like mine–gluten and casein-free whole food lover.
In October of last year after watching “No Impact Man,” I decided to try to eat 75% local food for 31 days. I’m excited to say I did it, we did it. And Trev lost over 10 pounds eating veg. (He should be a vegetarian according to Dr. Peter D’Adamo’s Eat Right For Your Type, so it makes sense.)
In May when I became pregnant, I also became very ill with morning sickness 24/7. At that point, Trever took over the grocery shopping for ten weeks while I was unable to do it without you-know-whating–I tried once and it didn’t end well in July. Tonight while I was cooking linguini with a red lentil sauce, he said he just did what he had to in order to survive. He ate top ramen, bean and cheese burritos, canned soups, peanut butter filled with sugar, and macaroni and cheese. Needless to say, he started gaining wait, lost focus, and felt more exhausted even though he wasn’t working a carpentry job.
Around the beginning of this month, I started doing one of my favorite things: watching movies on my Netflix app. I watched “The Girl…” trilogy in Swedish, Stardust, The Secret of Moonacre, and countless documentaries. One of the docs that Netflix suggested to me–and was simultaneously suggested through another friends blog–was Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead by Joe Cross.
After watching fifteen minutes of it, I told Trev he had to see this inspiring story of an Australian guy who completes a sixty-day juice diet (and then some) and goes from drab to fab. At the end of the movie, Joe is one good looking man and he changes the life of Phil Staples and countless others.
I realized how I spent the past ten weeks in bed or on the couch and I was ready for change. I got our grocery spending on a budget and created a weekly meal plan to cook real, whole, delicious food. Another side effect of being pregnant this time around has been not wanting meat, so Trev is back to losing weight and feeling awesome. And so am I.
It may sound simple to you. Heck, it may even sound crazy. What you put into your body effects every single last part of who you are. It can either bring you health, vitality, and wellness by acting like a medicine. Or cause you anxiety, pain, depression, sickness, and countless other diseases and side-effects by acting like a poison and working against you.
Food might not feel that way when you’re putting it into your mouth, but not getting micronutrients (fruits, veggies) will actually promote everything from colds to cancer (See Dr. Furhman’s website for more sweet info).
I hate to admit it, yet after my ten-week food sabbatical, for the first time in my life I am not persuaded by junk food. I’m free of the desire of a quick fix of a burger and fries and eat the almonds, rye crackers, and fruit I brought with me. I no longer notice fast food joints and start dreaming instead of the pesto sandwich with tomatoes, cucumbers, and spinach that I can make in 5 minutes at home. I can even go to party’s and see yucky food and remind myself how I’ll feel after I eat it and go, “Oh yeah, it sucks. I’d rather eat whole food.”
It may have took 27 years and the worst morning sickness I’ve ever experienced to finally get me to this point, but it was worth it. They say if you stop eating the bad stuff, you stop craving it. Well, I guess ten weeks is enough. Maybe Joe Cross had a point with those 60 days. I think I’ll keep this going. I want to live as long as possible for Trev, Audrey, and the person that’s baking inside of me.
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Photo: Audrey eating by “candlelight.”
Love That Could Kill.
July 15, 2011 § Leave a Comment
When Audrey came out and Trever placed her on my tummy, I had an overwhelming feeling of love for my child. And protection. I actually had the thought,
“If anyone tries to do anything to my baby to harm her, I will kill them!”
Woo. Kind of freaky, Mother Bear. Yes, I know. But many mother’s out there can hear me on this one: you’d do anything to protect your young and I believe it’s a natural instinct. In that moment, I felt very primal. And that feeling hasn’t gone away.
Since Audrey has arrived, I have constantly felt an automatic need to take care of her whatever the cost. Not doing so just isn’t an option. I think about feeding her, clothing her, and sheltering her way before I get to myself.
In the beginning, I had such a hard time balancing her needs with the simple one’s of my own that I would often not shower or brush my teeth for days. Learning how to be a new mother and wanting so badly to stay completely attached to your little being can be all time consuming.
As Audrey grew, I figured out how to take a five minute shower when Papa got home or make myself eat even though I didn’t feel like it or brush my teeth before I laid her down to bed for the night and stayed with her so she doesn’t wake up and feel abandoned.
Now I can shower with her or involve her in the food-making process and even snuggle her to sleep and watch a movie or read a book in the other room. The first year being completely attached was just hard and oh so worth it. I believe she’s even more independent because of it.
I’m looking forward to having all her teeth come in (just the canine’s to go) and getting her used to using the potty. She’s already in love with her undies and going quite frequently on the pot. That will take more stress off as the coming new year arrives and we welcome the new addition into our family.
We’re so very excited to welcome another member. I can feel the motherly instinct coming on again. Welling up inside of me to protect my young kin. Watch out though, you don’t want Mother Bear on your bad side.
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Baby FAQ’s:
• I’m twelve weeks and counting.
• This was planned and very welcomed.
• We don’t know what the sex is nor do we plan on finding out.
• We’re having the baby at home again. We have two wonderful midwives that we trust.
• We are due January 28, 2012. Although the baby could come anytime between 38 and 42 weeks, give or take.
• We’ve explained it to Audrey and we think she’ll make an excellent big sister.
• We’re planning to have a baby arrival celebration as the due date nears.
• We’re all set with clothes thanks to our good friends (whether it’s a girl or a boy).
• We have no sex preference. Either would be wonderful.
• We are happy with our family of four. Two is enough for us.
• Oh and yes! The hard month of June, complaints of being “sick”, etc. have been all baby-making related. I have both 24/7 morning sickness and gastritis. So it’s been tough, but look! I’m still blogging!
On that note, we definitely still need help entertaining Audrey on most days. As my body is building a baby and causing me lots of issues. And we will for sure need your support when the little one arrives.
And yes, I will kill for this one too. Wink wink.
Xx
Jenny
