Jenny L'voe

Learning to deal. Sometimes I don’t know how I do it. I guess I just compartmentalize. I can’t bite off too much of my life or I get extremely overwhelmed. At the thought of weeks, months, and years in advance–I crumble.

Once in a while, my zen mindset gets overloaded in one way or another, and I break.

That was just the case for me on the Friday before my sister in laws wedding. I was on this brain overload: thinking about upcoming bills, Trever needing more consistent work, feeling comfortable during a wedding, and taking the final for my Web Development class.

When the rehearsal dinner rolled around on Thursday and we needed to head down early to pick up my dress, I was feeling anxious about it fitting or not. I wanted it to work out like magic or for the seamstress to at least be able to take out some of it if that were the case.

Well, imagine my surprise when we arrived to pick it up and this was Sharan’s response,

“Oh, I sent your dress home with someone earlier this week. With your sister/sister-in law or mother/mother-in-law. Yes, with someone.”

After bidding her a hallow “thank you” and walking away, I rang my mother-in-law. She did have the dress and would bring it with her. I had to wait another 7 or so hours before I found out if it was time to panic or not.

And there was my mistake. I had already decided that it wasn’t going to work and that there was no alternative, no backup plan. The beginning of my zealous mind wipe.

We enjoyed the rehearsal and dinner well enough. When we arrived back home, I immediately tried the dress on. The satiny classic bridesmaid material suctioned to my 25 week pregnant body. Too tight. I couldn’t breath.

I looked at Trever in the mirror, “What am I going to do?”

“I don’t know,” he replied, “but I know you’ll figure it out. You always do.”

I always do. Phew. His support was admirable. But I was still stressed. The next day, I chaotically searched for a replacement dress that my mother-in-law generously offered to cover. My plan was to wear the bridesmaid dress for the photos and ceremony and change shortly thereafter.

Friday went painstakingly slow. After making it through it in its entirety, I woke up Saturday deciding that I would do whatever I needed to do to deal. I had come this far and I wasn’t about to let the drama in my own mind get in the way of people and things greater than myself–brides take precedence of pregnant ladies. Period.

The morning couldn’t have gone better with the best updo ever (See Monday’s post) and it just put me in a good mood. My hair looked good, what could go wrong?

That was the end of that. I spent one day–Friday–griping about a tight dress in my mind and made a conscious effort to not let that stop me from enjoying myself. We arrived at the wedding ceremony site and I waited till the last second to put the dress on.

The ceremony and family-photo-taking ended and I had my opportunity to change. I decided not to. “I’ll just deal with it,” I told myself. And I did. I got over myself and just lifted the dress up a bit after I ate (and it was tighter than before). Thankfully, it didn’t go too long into the night and soon we were driving home.

All and all, I’m quite proud of myself. I guess we’re all capable of getting over even the silliest things in our heads. Now what to do with that dress? Wink.